Drunkenbolds

[Drunkenbolds]

Drunkenbolds
This team of international liquid connoisseurs takes cycling and drinking to legendary heights. Fueled by beer, spirits, and questionable decision-making, they tackle races with a mix of skill, chaos, and hydration priorities that lean heavily towards the latter.

Leaders:
Marcelo Gallardo
A mountain goat in human form, Marcelo thrives on steep climbs and high-altitude drinking. His ability to ascend is directly proportional to the
amount of beer promised at the summit.
Marcelo has also perfected the art of the bar raid, a tradition as old as the early days of the Tour de France, when riders would stop at taverns mid-race to hydrate.

Carlos Lizardo
Carlos is, quite literally, a lizardman—cold-blooded and dependent on cool drinks to manage his body temperature, making beer his perfect fuel.
His sprinting technique is... unconventional, as he tends to deviate wildly across the road, making every finish line a high-stakes game of dodging.

Dexter "Dazed" Bailey
Dexter Bailey has joined the Drunkenbolds as a Classics Rider, and true to his name, he’s ready to bring unpredictability and unintentional chaos to the classics.
Signature Move: The "Bailey Boost": just before the finish, Dexter can be seen pulling out a small,
conveniently hidden bag of coffee powder sniffing it to enhance his sprint.

Facundo "Fuzzy" Bacardi
As one of our main sprinters, Fuzzy is all about one thing: winning the race… and winning it while absolutely obliterating his personal best in rum consumption.
He is a man who believes that hydration is best achieved with a rum-based beverage, has recently joined the team to take things to new spirits.
His cycling technique can only be described as "slightly tipsy," but with a dash of flair.

Mate Drinkovic
Mate Drinkovic has taken the term "fueling up" to a whole new level. As the Drunkenbolds’ Rouleur and Cobble Classic Specialist, Mate isn’t just powered
by water or energy gels—he's powered by alcohol, and it’s his secret weapon on every ride.
Signature Move: The "Distillery"—as he rolls over the cobbles, you can practically hear the sound of bottles clinking together with every brutal bump.

Eduardo "Shaken, Not Stirred" Martini
As the team’s Classics specialist and KOM contender, Eduardo’s unique approach to these races involves strategically using the steep climbs to appreciate
the finer things in life—like the “art of suffering” and the beauty of a crisp martini at altitude.
Eduardo is all about savoring the moment, whether he's pedaling up a brutal climb or pulling over to rehydrate with a chilled beverage.

Helpers:
Jacques Lecoq
Super-domestique and shotcaller for hilly terrain. This Frenchman is known for his unique ability to mountain climb while
always keeping one hand free for a glass of wine—because why shouldn’t a hill climb come with a little refinement?

Cristobal "Cerveza" Corona
Christobal "Cerveza" Corona is no ordinary domestique, he’s a carbloading visionary. Forget pasta, rice, or energy gels.
Christobal’s secret weapon for race-day performance is an unwavering belief that beer is the ultimate carb-loading tool.
His mantra? “Why eat bread when you can drink it?”

Gerhard "Lagerhound" Karlsberger
Gerhard "The Lagerhound" Karlsberger is another cool and fresh addition as a domestique. Gerhard brings a level of precision and dedication to the team that’s
rivaled only by his obsession with lagers.
He once finished 180km of a race while claiming he was "energized" by a perfectly timed lager break every 50km. He might have finished last,
but he had the best time doing it.

Cesare Moretti
As a domestique he is taking care of his team mates. Just like the beer, Cesare embodies a blend of smoothness, strength, and an undeniable Italian flair.
Cesare once completed a 200 km race while carrying an emergency stash of three bottles of wine
in his jersey pockets—one for hydration, one for team morale, and one for emergency stress relief.

Xing Yuengling
Xing may not be the strongest rider, but his family provides the team with refreshments.
His contribution to the team can be summed up in two words: Good intentions. Unfortunately, his execution tends to be a bit more... chaotic. He’s the guy you send
to fetch a bottle of water, and he’ll come back holding two half-empty bottles of beer instead, muttering, “I swear I was just trying to help!”


This completes our team for the moment, but in the coming seasons we will look to hire more beer.. I mean domestiques.
Cheers!