Big Donkey
Moderator: englishmods
Re: Big Donkey
May
10th place in D2 with 8110 points, after spending much of the season in last or second last place more than happy with that. Thought others might score more from the Giro and I was even a little bit at risk of relegation but ok, probably not that many others that were ahead of me in the Giro then? Actually without sales might even have promoted after all, sold quite a few points. But happy enough with 10th
2 wins, fantasy race with Winzenried, then during the Giro on the last stage Bongiorno got us our win, would be nice to write well-deserved, but actually it wasn't really deserved.
Giro: Passive Giro with a cheapish team, under 500'000 so not overly cheap, but cheaper than in the past years. But also low income, being more expensive wouldn't have changed that though. So happy with my team there.
-Iskanderov as helper and outside stage chance (not that many strong climbers around, but getting more again)
-Lafuente as GC leader with almost 0 stage chances.
-Gallego for hilly stages with stage chances, but only until the final startlist was published, then it was clear that with his 74 mountain but no sprint he would have no chances vs the 76 and 78 guys.
-Ousland for an escape, but being the only guy with reg (together with Gallego) didn't want to use him too much finally.
-Bongiorno our main hope for sprint, but here too, startlist published, seemed hopeless. Never rode for an MS, ok, one day put it a guy for a few km at the end, completely irrelevant, chased on days where Palamarchuk went alone, otherwise no sprint help, to Milano not even passive one by staying in the peloton
The other 4 guys just there as helpers, Vigni, Kagge, Sherifo and Ole S. Sherifo allowed to go in escape once or twice, Ole the same. But those guys were not only cheap, but also rather weak generally. But ok, having Gjeldnes and Bonjour there as originally planned wouldn't have made a difference. Only guy that would have made sense: Kebede, more option in sprint, but finally Bongiorno won a sprint without him, not sure he does with, so that's ok too.
GC went well, better than without Abdurashitov probably. Without him I'd have started in pole position, sort of. Ahead of everybody after the GC, with Iskanderov some support for the mountains. And then Gjeldnes with reg, Bonjour with 68/69 mountain would have made lots of sense, would have been an interesting defensive Giro, attacks from many places that I'm probably unlikely to be able to counter. But once we discovered Abdurashitov as a likely starter... made no sense to bring a team stronger team for Lafuente anymore. And it went perfectly, second place of the climbers after the TT. Was even confident enough to try a pro-forma attack on Pila, hoped to be able to defend what would remain of my advantage regardless, it worked, also thanks to the passive riding regarding climbers of others. Very slow and helper saving riding by the chasers, Confidential and SWP as well, in the end climbers didn't even get that many wins, 3 I think of 6. Like this Lafuente was basically carried to his second place, on the danger stages like especially Piancavallo nothing at all happened in GC, fine for the Donkeys, got 2nd with Lafuente. 12th Iskanderov and 14th Gallego. We'll take that with the team that we have right now.
And then on the last day Bongiorno wins. FL train, only alternative is Romoc, knowing how badly the guy sprints, avoided the train at first. Milano tried, but there was no train by him, tried again in Roma, made a train, actually sprinted decently, got second, Donkey first. Lucky punch, Bongiorno's career saved already, excellent.
Rider of the season of course Arcadio Bongiorno
-Arcadio, congratulations to your rider of the season award!
-Thanks!
-Are you satisfied with the Giro?
-Of course, the goal was to win a stage, I did it in Rome, so of course I'm satisfied.
-Took the team 21 stages to get that win... were you worried during the race?
-To be honest yes. Of course it looked difficult to beat the train for Verwimp, or to beat Palamarchuk who just is better at positioning, or Frizzante, the same, but I also felt a bit left alone by the team. We didn't even try.
-Are you criticizing Big Donkey?????
-Yes, well, we didnt try. We never helped to get a sprint, of course other teams are then going to fight for position even harder, oh, the Big Donkey guy whose team didn't ride a single km wants my wheel, the shoulder check will be double the usual force. Also to Milano going into the attack just made the tempo so much higher, the team knows I don't especially like high tempo, I prefer a steady tempo, not high tempo from the start.
-Well, but the GC is the first priority for Big Donkey.
-I realize that the GC is more important, but it's not like we brought a GC team either. Also in Milano the GC was completely irrelevant, the team could have sat still, helped a bit for a sprint, bring me there safe and trust me, instead they went on the attack, forcing me to suffer during the race? Also if the team you bring is not especially for the GC leader, why not give me another guy to help me, or even me riding for him at times, Kebede here would have made lots of sense. So yeah, I was nervous during the race, didn't feel supported, didn't feel management was trusting me. I hope I showed them that I can and will deliver, hope that for the Tour I will have more support.
-Ehm, are you sure calling out the Big Donkey is the right tactic to get more support?
-Yes, I call it like it is. And the Big Donkey seems a bit old, he'll probably forget it soon, I'll just have to remind him that I won a Giro stage a few days before the Tour. If I was a bit harsh here, doesn't matter either, I was told he doesn't hold grudges.
-By whom? I think somebody is trying to sabotage your career... Damn, let's finish this interview, the boss might fire me if I keep talking to you. Bye!
-Eh, wh
-BYE!!! Go away!!!
Finances:
+1'078'261 Ok for a GT month with my team. Hoped to gain a bit more during stages at times, but the final GC money was good of course.
Training
In one of the 4 trainings we got lots of flat, nice, rest wasn't all that special if we remember correctly
Retirements:
-Lukas Winzenried 01.04.25-06.05.26 starting skills 46-73-54-70-61 with 35 reg. 82 internal pavé skill Top skills 46-89-50-69-63 with 86.9 pavé. 102 races, 3284 eternal points, 4 race wins, but only got second in Paris-Roubaix, the races his grandfather Anton Hasler dominated. His grandfather was also the reason he never improved in mountain, he was told he didn't need to. In the build up to Roubaix, actually more Flanders, we tested how well we could bring him over the hills, Omloop, E3, it just turned out to be a bit too difficult, so didn't fully support him in Flanders, and he got 4th there finally, after miraculously profiting from strange riding in front... Roubaix then, finally got only second, which despite his great talent on pavé, which really made only a win an acceptable result we had to accept, race situation became so strange after the Carrefour that we still don't know what we should have done. So second it is, even Anton Hasler himself didn't really complain. He retired early at age 34, wasn't eager to spend another few months of his career riding for "glory" in fantasy pavé or gravel races. And since we got more compensation for him than we would in a few months... we were ok with that too. After following in his grandfather's footsteps now, he has decided to follow his father's and now works in an insurance company.
- Marco Lanfredini 01.11.24-30.05.26 starting skills 51-73-78-52-46 with 48 reg Top skills 63-85-78-51-46. Typical 60-80, well, better than our usual ones. 342 races, puts him at 17th in the history of the team and 1533 points. 0 wins, mostly helper for our hill sprinters, although for Bucquoy Roy was still the main guy, and Kebede finally started to wins once Lanfredini got weaker. Still a great rider to have. He now joined a black garlic producing company near Firenze, the same one that almost became our sponsor after not winning Roubaix, Lanfredini got along with them well and now is a garlic farmer. We wish him the best of luck and hope he tries to convince his company to gift us money, instead of sponsoring.
-Noah Lüthi: 01.01.25-30.05.26: Starting skills: 56-71-75-49-58 with 54 reg, top skills: 73-76-75-49-55. 5773 eternal points, number 56 in the team. 1 win, a Giro stage in 25, and got the mountain jersey in the December Tour. With 59 sprint we maybe hoped for a few wins more, but on the other hand 59 for a classic is not a top sprint value either, he got a few more second places in other races. Noah is back in Wabern and works in the office of the Gurtenbrauerei.
New rider
Idris Abraha from Mendefera, Southern Region Ethiopia joined the team on 01.06.26. Starting skills 73-55-59-50-57 with 49 reg for 2'743'472. A climber with unfortunate weaknesses in downhill. For the rest we like what he has to offer a lot, good climbing, decent in the flat, perfect time trialing and good sprint. Training of course will be mountain and flat, our first leader for 2027. Career goal the Giro. He already debuted today. Might race occasionally in June, in July will be concentrating on training during the Tour, and has good chances to start the Vuelta in support of Lafuente.
10th place in D2 with 8110 points, after spending much of the season in last or second last place more than happy with that. Thought others might score more from the Giro and I was even a little bit at risk of relegation but ok, probably not that many others that were ahead of me in the Giro then? Actually without sales might even have promoted after all, sold quite a few points. But happy enough with 10th
2 wins, fantasy race with Winzenried, then during the Giro on the last stage Bongiorno got us our win, would be nice to write well-deserved, but actually it wasn't really deserved.
Giro: Passive Giro with a cheapish team, under 500'000 so not overly cheap, but cheaper than in the past years. But also low income, being more expensive wouldn't have changed that though. So happy with my team there.
-Iskanderov as helper and outside stage chance (not that many strong climbers around, but getting more again)
-Lafuente as GC leader with almost 0 stage chances.
-Gallego for hilly stages with stage chances, but only until the final startlist was published, then it was clear that with his 74 mountain but no sprint he would have no chances vs the 76 and 78 guys.
-Ousland for an escape, but being the only guy with reg (together with Gallego) didn't want to use him too much finally.
-Bongiorno our main hope for sprint, but here too, startlist published, seemed hopeless. Never rode for an MS, ok, one day put it a guy for a few km at the end, completely irrelevant, chased on days where Palamarchuk went alone, otherwise no sprint help, to Milano not even passive one by staying in the peloton
The other 4 guys just there as helpers, Vigni, Kagge, Sherifo and Ole S. Sherifo allowed to go in escape once or twice, Ole the same. But those guys were not only cheap, but also rather weak generally. But ok, having Gjeldnes and Bonjour there as originally planned wouldn't have made a difference. Only guy that would have made sense: Kebede, more option in sprint, but finally Bongiorno won a sprint without him, not sure he does with, so that's ok too.
GC went well, better than without Abdurashitov probably. Without him I'd have started in pole position, sort of. Ahead of everybody after the GC, with Iskanderov some support for the mountains. And then Gjeldnes with reg, Bonjour with 68/69 mountain would have made lots of sense, would have been an interesting defensive Giro, attacks from many places that I'm probably unlikely to be able to counter. But once we discovered Abdurashitov as a likely starter... made no sense to bring a team stronger team for Lafuente anymore. And it went perfectly, second place of the climbers after the TT. Was even confident enough to try a pro-forma attack on Pila, hoped to be able to defend what would remain of my advantage regardless, it worked, also thanks to the passive riding regarding climbers of others. Very slow and helper saving riding by the chasers, Confidential and SWP as well, in the end climbers didn't even get that many wins, 3 I think of 6. Like this Lafuente was basically carried to his second place, on the danger stages like especially Piancavallo nothing at all happened in GC, fine for the Donkeys, got 2nd with Lafuente. 12th Iskanderov and 14th Gallego. We'll take that with the team that we have right now.
And then on the last day Bongiorno wins. FL train, only alternative is Romoc, knowing how badly the guy sprints, avoided the train at first. Milano tried, but there was no train by him, tried again in Roma, made a train, actually sprinted decently, got second, Donkey first. Lucky punch, Bongiorno's career saved already, excellent.
Rider of the season of course Arcadio Bongiorno
-Arcadio, congratulations to your rider of the season award!
-Thanks!
-Are you satisfied with the Giro?
-Of course, the goal was to win a stage, I did it in Rome, so of course I'm satisfied.
-Took the team 21 stages to get that win... were you worried during the race?
-To be honest yes. Of course it looked difficult to beat the train for Verwimp, or to beat Palamarchuk who just is better at positioning, or Frizzante, the same, but I also felt a bit left alone by the team. We didn't even try.
-Are you criticizing Big Donkey?????
-Yes, well, we didnt try. We never helped to get a sprint, of course other teams are then going to fight for position even harder, oh, the Big Donkey guy whose team didn't ride a single km wants my wheel, the shoulder check will be double the usual force. Also to Milano going into the attack just made the tempo so much higher, the team knows I don't especially like high tempo, I prefer a steady tempo, not high tempo from the start.
-Well, but the GC is the first priority for Big Donkey.
-I realize that the GC is more important, but it's not like we brought a GC team either. Also in Milano the GC was completely irrelevant, the team could have sat still, helped a bit for a sprint, bring me there safe and trust me, instead they went on the attack, forcing me to suffer during the race? Also if the team you bring is not especially for the GC leader, why not give me another guy to help me, or even me riding for him at times, Kebede here would have made lots of sense. So yeah, I was nervous during the race, didn't feel supported, didn't feel management was trusting me. I hope I showed them that I can and will deliver, hope that for the Tour I will have more support.
-Ehm, are you sure calling out the Big Donkey is the right tactic to get more support?
-Yes, I call it like it is. And the Big Donkey seems a bit old, he'll probably forget it soon, I'll just have to remind him that I won a Giro stage a few days before the Tour. If I was a bit harsh here, doesn't matter either, I was told he doesn't hold grudges.
-By whom? I think somebody is trying to sabotage your career... Damn, let's finish this interview, the boss might fire me if I keep talking to you. Bye!
-Eh, wh
-BYE!!! Go away!!!
Finances:
+1'078'261 Ok for a GT month with my team. Hoped to gain a bit more during stages at times, but the final GC money was good of course.
Training
In one of the 4 trainings we got lots of flat, nice, rest wasn't all that special if we remember correctly
Retirements:
-Lukas Winzenried 01.04.25-06.05.26 starting skills 46-73-54-70-61 with 35 reg. 82 internal pavé skill Top skills 46-89-50-69-63 with 86.9 pavé. 102 races, 3284 eternal points, 4 race wins, but only got second in Paris-Roubaix, the races his grandfather Anton Hasler dominated. His grandfather was also the reason he never improved in mountain, he was told he didn't need to. In the build up to Roubaix, actually more Flanders, we tested how well we could bring him over the hills, Omloop, E3, it just turned out to be a bit too difficult, so didn't fully support him in Flanders, and he got 4th there finally, after miraculously profiting from strange riding in front... Roubaix then, finally got only second, which despite his great talent on pavé, which really made only a win an acceptable result we had to accept, race situation became so strange after the Carrefour that we still don't know what we should have done. So second it is, even Anton Hasler himself didn't really complain. He retired early at age 34, wasn't eager to spend another few months of his career riding for "glory" in fantasy pavé or gravel races. And since we got more compensation for him than we would in a few months... we were ok with that too. After following in his grandfather's footsteps now, he has decided to follow his father's and now works in an insurance company.
- Marco Lanfredini 01.11.24-30.05.26 starting skills 51-73-78-52-46 with 48 reg Top skills 63-85-78-51-46. Typical 60-80, well, better than our usual ones. 342 races, puts him at 17th in the history of the team and 1533 points. 0 wins, mostly helper for our hill sprinters, although for Bucquoy Roy was still the main guy, and Kebede finally started to wins once Lanfredini got weaker. Still a great rider to have. He now joined a black garlic producing company near Firenze, the same one that almost became our sponsor after not winning Roubaix, Lanfredini got along with them well and now is a garlic farmer. We wish him the best of luck and hope he tries to convince his company to gift us money, instead of sponsoring.
-Noah Lüthi: 01.01.25-30.05.26: Starting skills: 56-71-75-49-58 with 54 reg, top skills: 73-76-75-49-55. 5773 eternal points, number 56 in the team. 1 win, a Giro stage in 25, and got the mountain jersey in the December Tour. With 59 sprint we maybe hoped for a few wins more, but on the other hand 59 for a classic is not a top sprint value either, he got a few more second places in other races. Noah is back in Wabern and works in the office of the Gurtenbrauerei.
New rider
Idris Abraha from Mendefera, Southern Region Ethiopia joined the team on 01.06.26. Starting skills 73-55-59-50-57 with 49 reg for 2'743'472. A climber with unfortunate weaknesses in downhill. For the rest we like what he has to offer a lot, good climbing, decent in the flat, perfect time trialing and good sprint. Training of course will be mountain and flat, our first leader for 2027. Career goal the Giro. He already debuted today. Might race occasionally in June, in July will be concentrating on training during the Tour, and has good chances to start the Vuelta in support of Lafuente.
Kraftsystemrevision! Include the distance!
Basics reform: Give blue a chance!
Don't punish bugusers. We all have to use bugs, since most of them are declared as "features"!
Got a carrot from FL. But they threaten to take it away now.
Basics reform: Give blue a chance!
Don't punish bugusers. We all have to use bugs, since most of them are declared as "features"!
Got a carrot from FL. But they threaten to take it away now.
Re: Big Donkey
June
2nd place in D2 with 9862 points. So promotion. Just when I got used to the idea that I wasn't a D1 or even D1/2 elevator team anymore, but simply a D2 team I got back up. Didn't really expect it anymore.
2 stage wins, TTT and Kebede in Auvergne-Rhônes Alpes. 1 stage race win, the same Auvergne-Rhônes Alpes. And Lafuente who got second in the Tour de Suisse. The GC win was unexpected. Good TTT, that I knew, would be in good position, of course. But never expected to win the whole thing. A Chemnitz team implosion in the TTT and a softly ridden last stage, where I thought I would be easily beaten, unless I got lots of help from Chemnitz for his stage win made it the Donkeys first stage race win since the Tour 24. 25 was our first year without one, we suspected we might double down in 26, but Iskanderov had something to say about that.
The Tour de Suisse worked a bit less well, second it still nice, but there we have regrets. Smart, but probably not in form.. but the guy had lots of luck in sprints first. And the one day I hoped to either win back bonifications or at least not lose more, Iskanderov somehow decided not to follow his wheel in the sprint. Smart then despite his lack of sprint skill wins the stage, 10" bonifications, Tour over. Thanks to form (we guess) Lafuente wins back almost all, just 1" behind Smart before the final stage. Lots of attacks, lots of BW tempo, last climb, Donkey is convinced he can follow Smart, once, less sure about the second time. Decides to try that, in retrospect makes little sense. But not follow too early, gamble that he goes later, he goes early, big time loss. Right way to do it was try the block... Problem with that is that lately I've been even worse than usual with those blocks.. and one km in tempo kills me I feared, so no, I just speculate he goes later, he didn't. This TdS was winnable, twice bonifications for Smart, first time I wasn't concentrating on it at all, mistake too, second time the stupid sprint sudden not following the guy in front of him, that one hurt. If I get into the last stage with an advantage, not 1" back... ok, the whole stage is different, but then I don't need to arrive with Smart in the top 3 and beat him in sprint, but can lose a few seconds, as long as he doesn't feast on bonis. But ok, 1 stage win in a month is already excellent, still regrets on that TdS.
Rider of the month obviously Iskanderov. Since it's a rest day, we found time to post a short interview:
-Azimbek, rider of the season, congrats.
-Thanks.
-After winning Auvergne, do you expect to start the TdF as leader now?
-???? We've been riding 9 stages already, we all know that...
-Stop stop stop! Don't kill the suspense You have to pretend that the Tour hasn't started yet. There's fans that don't follow the live broadcast but get all their informations from here! Don't spoil their wait for our end of season press release!
-What? Nobody does that!
-Lots and lots of people.
-Not a single person. Even Gemini knows I'm riding the Tour! See here "Azimbek Iskanderov is primarily recognized as a professional cyclist associated with the team Big Donkey.He recently competed in European cycling events, such as the Afternoon Post Giro Criterium in France." So yes, I'm riding the Tour! It's on. Its being ridden now! Also you just said it's a rest day!
-But didn't specify of what, we might just not ride today. Also there's not more information on Gemini, plus our fans don't check AI to get results, our fans trust in DI!
-DI?
-Donkey intelligence. It's sort of a prototype for AI.
-Whatever, anyway, I'm riding the Tour, I'm
-No no no! No. Ok, after winning Auvergne, did you expect or demand to ride the Tour de France as sole leader?
-I can't tell, I might destroy somebody's fantasies it seems. Although that somebody is only a fantasy themselves. Fuck this, how am I supposed to answer questions if I have to pretend to live in the past?
-No need to be salty, we have rules.
-Hm, rules trump common sense, I see why you live in Japan now.
-I don't, I'm the anonymous press secretary, the publisher of sensations, the wordsmith of high quality and highly anticipated press releases, th
- Oh, shut it, nobody was waiting for this, nobody was even asking where the June report was!
-Lots and lots, we just deleted all those whiny posts begging me to enlighten the public with my wisdom and knowledge.
-Ok, I might be riding the Tour de France, and there might be a rest day, but there might be a stage tomorrow, so can we wrap this up?
-Just a minute, just one or 2 more questions, what are your goals for the rest of your career?
-Do a good Tour.. am I allowed to say that?
-Yes of course! But what does a good Tour mean? GC win? Podium? Stage win? Help Lafuente on the podium?
-Something like that yes.
-After the Tour?
-I'm unlikely to ride the Vuelta, the boss and I agreed on that already. So the Tour is the last big goal of my career I'd say.
-And is the win in Auvergne the biggest success of your career so far?
-Yes, of course, by far. We had a great team for the TTT, I was put in an excellent position by my teammates, and then we defended as well as we could, Which was well enough.
-Hm, by far you say, that means you haven't managed a stage win in the Tour so far I guess.
-What the fuck??? I thought we aren't supposed to talk about July..Fuck this! Bye!
-Congrats again and thanks for the interview. Also learn to get a joke. I was just playing along with your ridiculous claim that the Tour has started, a joke our readers will understand, unlike you! See you!
Finances
+2'112'688, outstanding. 2 stages, 4 second places a 3rd and a 4th, plus the GC in Auvergne of course paid well. We slowed down in the second part of the month though.
Training
I guess was ok, far back already...
Retirements
Damian Toulet 01.12.24-30.06.26 4213 eternal points in 207 races. 6 wins, the biggest one of course Paris-Tours in 2025. But also won the Scheldeprijs and a Tirreno stage in his career. Starting skills: 46-70-73-46-63 with 36 reg. Top skills: 47-75-73-46-78. The goal when we bought him was:
"Damian Toulet rides for Team Cycling Hero, another prominent team managed within the Cycling4Freaks simulation league." See? Not DI. Just AI.
New rider
AI told me I needed a Viktor "the Anvil"Jansen, 26 years old, 55-80-70-78-60. Unknown reg. With him it seems I won't have trouble winning stage 5 and the GC of the Tour of the Alps, with him I won't be dropped in the valley km 0-120, as would happen in the crosswinds without him. And I can't use Ousland there, because according to AI: "Ousland is a top-tier green jersey sprinter and punchy attacker, not a pure sacrificial engine." Unfortunately this good advice came too late, so I'll have to cover Lafuente's poor TT skill in another way. And live with the eternal regret of failing in the Tour of the Alps 25 due to crosswinds. Anyway our new rider:
Martin Wüthrich from Lyssach joined the Team on 01.07.26 for 1'631'361. Starting skills: 50-72-78-52-53 with 53 reg. Our next 60-80. That gets an early start to his GT career by already participating in the Tour as a neopro. Career helper, occasional escaper, expected topskills 60-80-78-50-53, hopefully +1 or 2 on the mountain/flat skills.
Goals for July
TdF month, so a stage and GC at the TdF the goal, GC win looks unlikely even at the beginning of July, so let's concentrate on stage wins.
2nd place in D2 with 9862 points. So promotion. Just when I got used to the idea that I wasn't a D1 or even D1/2 elevator team anymore, but simply a D2 team I got back up. Didn't really expect it anymore.
2 stage wins, TTT and Kebede in Auvergne-Rhônes Alpes. 1 stage race win, the same Auvergne-Rhônes Alpes. And Lafuente who got second in the Tour de Suisse. The GC win was unexpected. Good TTT, that I knew, would be in good position, of course. But never expected to win the whole thing. A Chemnitz team implosion in the TTT and a softly ridden last stage, where I thought I would be easily beaten, unless I got lots of help from Chemnitz for his stage win made it the Donkeys first stage race win since the Tour 24. 25 was our first year without one, we suspected we might double down in 26, but Iskanderov had something to say about that.
The Tour de Suisse worked a bit less well, second it still nice, but there we have regrets. Smart, but probably not in form.. but the guy had lots of luck in sprints first. And the one day I hoped to either win back bonifications or at least not lose more, Iskanderov somehow decided not to follow his wheel in the sprint. Smart then despite his lack of sprint skill wins the stage, 10" bonifications, Tour over. Thanks to form (we guess) Lafuente wins back almost all, just 1" behind Smart before the final stage. Lots of attacks, lots of BW tempo, last climb, Donkey is convinced he can follow Smart, once, less sure about the second time. Decides to try that, in retrospect makes little sense. But not follow too early, gamble that he goes later, he goes early, big time loss. Right way to do it was try the block... Problem with that is that lately I've been even worse than usual with those blocks.. and one km in tempo kills me I feared, so no, I just speculate he goes later, he didn't. This TdS was winnable, twice bonifications for Smart, first time I wasn't concentrating on it at all, mistake too, second time the stupid sprint sudden not following the guy in front of him, that one hurt. If I get into the last stage with an advantage, not 1" back... ok, the whole stage is different, but then I don't need to arrive with Smart in the top 3 and beat him in sprint, but can lose a few seconds, as long as he doesn't feast on bonis. But ok, 1 stage win in a month is already excellent, still regrets on that TdS.
Rider of the month obviously Iskanderov. Since it's a rest day, we found time to post a short interview:
-Azimbek, rider of the season, congrats.
-Thanks.
-After winning Auvergne, do you expect to start the TdF as leader now?
-???? We've been riding 9 stages already, we all know that...
-Stop stop stop! Don't kill the suspense You have to pretend that the Tour hasn't started yet. There's fans that don't follow the live broadcast but get all their informations from here! Don't spoil their wait for our end of season press release!
-What? Nobody does that!
-Lots and lots of people.
-Not a single person. Even Gemini knows I'm riding the Tour! See here "Azimbek Iskanderov is primarily recognized as a professional cyclist associated with the team Big Donkey.He recently competed in European cycling events, such as the Afternoon Post Giro Criterium in France." So yes, I'm riding the Tour! It's on. Its being ridden now! Also you just said it's a rest day!
-But didn't specify of what, we might just not ride today. Also there's not more information on Gemini, plus our fans don't check AI to get results, our fans trust in DI!
-DI?
-Donkey intelligence. It's sort of a prototype for AI.
-Whatever, anyway, I'm riding the Tour, I'm
-No no no! No. Ok, after winning Auvergne, did you expect or demand to ride the Tour de France as sole leader?
-I can't tell, I might destroy somebody's fantasies it seems. Although that somebody is only a fantasy themselves. Fuck this, how am I supposed to answer questions if I have to pretend to live in the past?
-No need to be salty, we have rules.
-Hm, rules trump common sense, I see why you live in Japan now.
-I don't, I'm the anonymous press secretary, the publisher of sensations, the wordsmith of high quality and highly anticipated press releases, th
- Oh, shut it, nobody was waiting for this, nobody was even asking where the June report was!
-Lots and lots, we just deleted all those whiny posts begging me to enlighten the public with my wisdom and knowledge.
-Ok, I might be riding the Tour de France, and there might be a rest day, but there might be a stage tomorrow, so can we wrap this up?
-Just a minute, just one or 2 more questions, what are your goals for the rest of your career?
-Do a good Tour.. am I allowed to say that?
-Yes of course! But what does a good Tour mean? GC win? Podium? Stage win? Help Lafuente on the podium?
-Something like that yes.
-After the Tour?
-I'm unlikely to ride the Vuelta, the boss and I agreed on that already. So the Tour is the last big goal of my career I'd say.
-And is the win in Auvergne the biggest success of your career so far?
-Yes, of course, by far. We had a great team for the TTT, I was put in an excellent position by my teammates, and then we defended as well as we could, Which was well enough.
-Hm, by far you say, that means you haven't managed a stage win in the Tour so far I guess.
-What the fuck??? I thought we aren't supposed to talk about July..Fuck this! Bye!
-Congrats again and thanks for the interview. Also learn to get a joke. I was just playing along with your ridiculous claim that the Tour has started, a joke our readers will understand, unlike you! See you!
Finances
+2'112'688, outstanding. 2 stages, 4 second places a 3rd and a 4th, plus the GC in Auvergne of course paid well. We slowed down in the second part of the month though.
Training
I guess was ok, far back already...
Retirements
Damian Toulet 01.12.24-30.06.26 4213 eternal points in 207 races. 6 wins, the biggest one of course Paris-Tours in 2025. But also won the Scheldeprijs and a Tirreno stage in his career. Starting skills: 46-70-73-46-63 with 36 reg. Top skills: 47-75-73-46-78. The goal when we bought him was:
So he certainly exceeded the expectations with Paris-Tours, and his sprint skill (giving up mountain and flat for it) Also, to show Iskanderov that maybe he isn't riding the Tour at all, here is what Gemini says about Damian Toulet:His goal: money sprinter. Up sprint and flat first. later mountain to 50 ideally, maybe 48. Sprint middle 70es to low 80 the goal. 50-78-73-46-78, let's say that's the goal.
"Damian Toulet rides for Team Cycling Hero, another prominent team managed within the Cycling4Freaks simulation league." See? Not DI. Just AI.
New rider
AI told me I needed a Viktor "the Anvil"Jansen, 26 years old, 55-80-70-78-60. Unknown reg. With him it seems I won't have trouble winning stage 5 and the GC of the Tour of the Alps, with him I won't be dropped in the valley km 0-120, as would happen in the crosswinds without him. And I can't use Ousland there, because according to AI: "Ousland is a top-tier green jersey sprinter and punchy attacker, not a pure sacrificial engine." Unfortunately this good advice came too late, so I'll have to cover Lafuente's poor TT skill in another way. And live with the eternal regret of failing in the Tour of the Alps 25 due to crosswinds. Anyway our new rider:
Martin Wüthrich from Lyssach joined the Team on 01.07.26 for 1'631'361. Starting skills: 50-72-78-52-53 with 53 reg. Our next 60-80. That gets an early start to his GT career by already participating in the Tour as a neopro. Career helper, occasional escaper, expected topskills 60-80-78-50-53, hopefully +1 or 2 on the mountain/flat skills.
Goals for July
TdF month, so a stage and GC at the TdF the goal, GC win looks unlikely even at the beginning of July, so let's concentrate on stage wins.
Kraftsystemrevision! Include the distance!
Basics reform: Give blue a chance!
Don't punish bugusers. We all have to use bugs, since most of them are declared as "features"!
Got a carrot from FL. But they threaten to take it away now.
Basics reform: Give blue a chance!
Don't punish bugusers. We all have to use bugs, since most of them are declared as "features"!
Got a carrot from FL. But they threaten to take it away now.
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